Pornographic Research
by Atsueshi
Summary: Satsuki does not want to know why Tetsu-kun did "pornographic research" and why it was the cause and solution of his and Dai-chan's stupid squabble. Really, she doesn't. But she finds out anyway, and it... Oh, gods, she did not need to know that. (AoKuro, silly shtuff.)


The first time Tetsu-kun caught Daiki watching porn — hardcore at that— led to what was probably their biggest argument that Satsuki witnessed first-hand. They had been fighting for _days_ now, and she sincerely hoped today would be the last.

Satsuki could only sigh at how ridiculously idiotic her best friend could get.

"Tetsu! Tetsu, come on, you can't actually be mad about that, can you?"

Tetsu-kun glanced at Satsuki a little too coldly. "Momoi-chan, I can hear someone nattering around us. I believe it's some sort of buzzing insect, could you swat it please?"

They had been walking around the city streets for quite a while now. Satsuki only went with Tetsu-kun because he had sincerely sounded upset when he called her, after which Dai-chan called as well saying he fucked things up bad and telling her Tetsu-kun "caught me watching inappropriate shit, Satsuki help me, we've been at this for days now and I just can't stand this shit anymore". Small comfort though it was that at least Dai-chan hadn't touched himself while watching such videos, (or that at least she wasn't informed) Satsuki still thought it was the worst thing ever to have been caught doing. Other than cheating, of course, but Dai-chan was just so one-track-minded about everything that she seriously doubted the guy's ability to commit such a mistake.

She sighed and looked pointedly at Dai-chan and Tetsu-kun. "You guys aren't gonna let this up, are you?"

"No," they both answered at the same time. Tetsu-kun flinched at the synchronised reply and the irritation became more evident in his face, which was as rare as seeing bees in the city.

"Momoi-chan, I'd gladly make up with anyone who admits their fault freely," Tetsu-kun mumbled stonily, taking a sip out of his shake.

Dai-chan snorted derisively. "I don't think curiosity is so criminal, Satsuki. Do _you_ think so?"

At this point Satsuki just could not believe how stubborn these two boys could get. "Look—"

"Wouldn't you think it improper, Momoi-chan, if you catch your boyfriend watching two people having scandalous, bed-breaking sex in your own bedroom?" Tetsu cut through her. "And wouldn't you think it _rude_ if the offending person just looks at you as you come in through the door, says 'hey', and then resumes watching said offending clip?"

Satsuki rounded on Dai-chan, who was trying his hardest to look innocent and failed so miserably that he only managed to look away. "You _did_ that, Dai-chan?"

Daiki grunted but otherwise did not negate her question. "Satsuki," he grumbled instead, "said 'offending' person – which, by the way, is an entirely subjective and inappropriate term – was only watching it because of a natural thing called 'curiosity' which, again, some people believe to be criminally punishable even though it is not. In fact, I've come to believe it should be nourished."

Satsuki just wanted to slap Dai-chan for that, but—

"Well, said offending person – and no, Momoi-chan, it is not inappropriate, wouldn't you think so too? – could have just apologised—"

"—Then I'm sorry, okay!" Dai-chan suddenly yells at Tetsu, startling a few people and earning disapproving looks for all three of them. "I'm sorry it's such a fuckin' _horrible _thing to watch pornographic shit which, funnily enough, I saw open in _your_ fuckin' browser the other night!"

Satsuki's head spun, both literally figuratively, as she eyed Tetsu-kun in shock. "T-Tetsu-kun?" She stammered. "Y-you were—?"

Tetsu-kun actually looked embarrassed, and the slight colouring of his neck proved it.

"Well, Tetsu? Don't deny it! I don't even know why—"

"I was—" Tetsu-kun sighed in defeat and looked apologetically at Momoi. "I…apologise. I forgot about that."

It all went too fast for Satsuki, and as she looked at Dai-chan she saw that the latter was already a little mollified by Tetsu-kun's admission and apology. She stifled a confused giggle; it wasn't often that she saw Tetsu being in the wrong, but he also looked so cute looking abashed and ashamed and—well, it was just adorable.

She cleared her throat a little and tried to break the silence by asking what would also be the most stupid question she could have asked at that moment. "Why were you looking through them anyway, Tetsu-kun?"

Tetsu-kun looked up at her, then at Dai-chan, and the impassive expression was back in place again. They started walking in the direction of the train station, and after a while Tetsu-kun replied, "Pornographic research."

Dai-chan snorted, and if not for Satsuki's still-lingering shock, she would really have slammed her book in Dai-chan's face. "'Pornographic research' my _ass_."

The colour heightened in Tetsu's cheek. "I was looking for… Different positions to try."

Satsuki choked on air, which she never thought possible until that day, but before she could say or do anything, Dai-chan strode past her and pulled Tetsu-kun by the arm, dragging him a little faster toward the station.

It would've been fine, really. It would have made her head stop feeling weird, if not for the fact that she caught Dai-chan's words as he went. It was too much information, which said a goddamn lot beause she was Satsuki and information was her world.

It was too much that she actually didn't mind them leaving her alone to go home. She could just call Kise-kun. Yeah, that would be okay.

But it probably wouldn't be enough, and as she waited for Kise, she could still hear Dai-chan's low, urgent voice muttering angrily.

"_Fuckin' hell,_ we could just actually _do it now_, stupid Tetsu."


End file.
